Friday, October 10, 2014

UNTIL DEATH DO US PART

It's been quite some time since I've sat down at the old laptop and let loose with something that has moved me and hopefully will move you as well.  When I say it'd been a while,  little did I realize just how long it had been since my last post.  September 11, 2013

Much has happened since then.  Not just in my life, but in yours.  Change, change and more change,  Some have been for the good and others.......well, who really knows.  Perhaps I'll delay some judgment for now.  You might want to do the same.

I do know that my attitude and my perception has been altered on several topics.  Most notably, faith and family.  Could it be that I'm entering a "golden" time in my life that I'm much more reflective....  much more passionate in leaving something that marks my time on this earth, or is it that I'm much more observant of people that have done things the right way?  And they've done it the right way time and time again.  That could possibly be. 

One area I know there will be change in, is in our family dynamics.  Monday, Lorne Haun passed away......the husband, father and grandfather figure in our circle......and WE WEPT.  Some of those tears were of sadness, others in relief that he didn't have to suffer anymore and there were those of joy in knowing that he was now on a journey to a much better place.     

Is this the stairway to Heaven you envision?
 Lorne will be missed, literally and figuratively.  I've mentioned to many people in the past few days  that he was the most humble man I've ever known.  A jokester, for sure, but quiet and unassuming.  But, he was first off, a devoted husband to his wife, Eleanor, of 67 years.  67 years.  That in itself is an accomplishment in this day and age when parting seems the "thing" to do.  He cherished  his wife to the very end.  For sure, she was and is the "luckiest woman on the face of the earth".  For her, and those who knew Lorne well,  the hardest aspect of his death was "letting go".   That might be the thing we're all afraid of.  The "physical" letting go is one thing, the memories are quite another. 

I think back to my marriage as most of you can yours.  Typically, there are the words "till death do us part" within the vows.  Yet, it might be the most forgotten.   As a reminder, here might be a typical marriage liturgy.   " I,  (husband or wife}, take you,  (wife or husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy law, and this is my solemn vow".  Doesn't seem all that difficult with such a short sentence of words...but oh, how we fail, time and again.

Lorne and Eleanor you have set a bar for all of us to shoot for.  I salute you both, not just because your are my father and mother- in-law, but because you capsulize the true meaning of marriage.   As Eleanor said at his bedside after he passed, " God can indeed say,  job well done". 

I recall my father's death nearly 26 years ago.  As I look back, much of what happened during his passing was a blur.  He passed so quickly.  I'm sure I was in some state of shock for a number of days.  But I do remember this.....and I pass it along any time I can.

A friend of a neighbor of mine sent me a card in the mail.  At first glance, I thought, who is this from?  As I opened the letter the words jumped out at me, "I know your loss and I understand".   What?  As I read further, this little gal spelled out how she had lost her dad a couple of years before and....she received a card from someone that said,  "I know your loss", because they had lost their parent.  "Since then", she continued, "I've made it a practice to send a card to someone that suffered the same thing I went through.  I felt liked I had joined a fraternity of people who truly understood what I was going through".  Frankly, I was blown away by her words...and since then, I've done the same thing.

So to you Joanne (my wife) and sister-in-laws, Chris and Kathryn....."I know your loss and I understand.  As we get ready to celebrate your dad's life (Saturday) know it doesn't make the hurt go away but just knowing someone KNOWS makes all the difference in the world". 

YGG,

John

3 comments:

  1. Your title alone says a lot to me, John...good stuff here...
    - Greg Ellis

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  2. AAAHHHH, precious and sweet words. What a gift, thank you John. I am so blessed to have two such wonderful men in my life. My father and my husband...Amen and amen.
    Joanne

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  3. Greg, thanks for your thoughts. I pray that you know your not alone....and that you are protected with God's love.

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