WHERE TO GO WHEN SOMEONE PASSES

My sister-in-law, Diane Wildeboer Kelling, passed this week.  As you can expect, it has been a tough time for the family.  Hard in this manner.

Diane had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's a number of years ago.  As time went on, her condition worsened, and she was put into memory care in May of  2024.  It was a difficult time in waiting.  From the moment she moved back to Ankeny each family member said their goodbyes in their own way and time. When she took her last breath on Tuesday, finality had come.  And for her, the suffering had ended.  Her passing took me back in time. 

I remember my dad passing many years ago. When I came out the door of Mercy Hospital in Des Moines that day I came to an abrupt halt.  I looked around at how life was continuing its hustle and bustle.  There was no concern of my dad's death.  My thoughts went to humanity and how ugly it was.  "How can you not take a couple of minutes and stop and honor my father's life", I thought.  But there was no such response.  Life went on.  And that not only hurt but angered me.     

A couple of days after the funeral I got a card in the mail.  It had a name and return address I wasn't familiar with.  As I opened the envelope, I saw the words, "I know how you feel".  What followed was some of the best advice and heartfelt thoughts I could imagine.  The writings came from the girl friend of a neighbor of mine.  I hardly knew her.  Maybe met once or twice.  She said, "I'm so sorry for the loss of your dad.  I know how you feel.  I lost my dad a few years ago.  I had people come up to me and say how sorry they were, and they knew my struggles....without ever having experienced losing a parent.  It wasn't that people who hadn't lost a parent couldn't understand, it was just special.  What happened days later, I got a card from someone else that actually had lost their loved one.  And they said this. 'When I lost my mother, I made it a ritual of sorts to always send a note expressing my deepest gratitude because someone else had done the same to me.  And I thought, I could do the same.  And I have'.  That's why I'm sending you this card.  Hope it provides some relief and helps with any anger you might have".  Her words had come at the perfect time.  

Today, I do the same exact thing.  It's helped me push the grief aside and what I can do to move ahead.

But now what?  When we experience these losses where do we go?  And how do we make it make sense and honoring at the same time.  The story I mentioned above is a great place to start.  We can impact people in ways you'd never imagine.  You can do it by Seed Planting.  One little act or word to help. 

You don't have to be bold or stand on a street corner.  Simply tell a story like the "pass it forward" card and use it to have people stop and think about why they're on this earth.  And what faithful service they can provide as God's servant.  

A seed planted over 35 years ago has continued to go for me.  Plant one today and see where yours takes you. 

YGG, 
John